Remember all those “Pulp Fiction” wannabes a decade ago — the ones with name ensemble casts, wacky characters, beaucoup shootouts and self-consciously colorful, rat-a-tat dialogue?

Add to the list the tardy – and not especially notable — “Flypaper.” And if it feels a little stale, there’s a good reason: The script was written a dozen years ago by the then aspiring screenwriting team of Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, a duo now red hot after the blockbuster success two years ago of “The Hangover.”

 Review : Flypaper

“Flypaper,” which screened at the Sundance Film Festival last winter, is about a bank robbery. Make that two robberies.

A trio of elite thieves (Mekhi Phifer, John Ventimiglia and Matt Ryan), equipped with the latest in high tech gadgetry, enter a large metropolitan bank intending to empty the vault. Arriving simultaneously are a doofus duo (Tim Blake Nelson and Pruitt Taylor Vance) — these rubes have taken as their noms de crime “Peanut Butter” and “Jelly” — with plans to blow up the ATMs.

Caught in the middle are a bank clerk (Ashley Judd), a brainy customer (Patrick Dempsey) who suffers from an obsessive-compulsive disorder, and a handful of others (including Octavia Spencer and Jeffrey Tambor), all of whom are taken hostage.

It soon becomes clear, as corpses start turning up, that someone, whether a hostage or a robber, is harboring secrets. Like 1985′s “Clue” and various Agatha Christie house party mysteries, “Flypaper” wants the audience to trust no one.

Sadly, “Flypaper” is neither clever nor funny enough to make a viewer care. Director Rob Minkoff (“Stuart Little”) keeps the action moving briskly but the characters, despite an overload of colorful quirks, remain artificial conceits.

Dempsey lays on his character’s nervous tics a tad thick, while a weary-looking Judd simply doesn’t have enough to do. It’s a plight shared by much of the rest of the cast. When even Spencer, a practiced comedy scene-stealer who’s currently giving a starmaking turn as Minnie in “The Help,” barely registers, there’s a problem.

If you were home flipping channels late at night and came across “Flypaper,” you might snack on it for a while. But served up as a feature film, on a big screen and at $12 a ticket, it’s a mighty thin and derivative slice of moviemaking.

 

First things first: All eight scratch-and-sniff scents on the “Aroma-Scope” card I was handed at “Spy Kids 4D: All the Time in the World” smelled like Trix cereal and cardboard.

mason hammer hands Review : Spy Kids 4D

Maybe I got a dud card, but I definitely got a dud movie to go with it. Nobody expected subtlety from a movie that comes with its own baby-fart smells, but Robert Rodriguez clobbers home his messages about family and quality time with such bludgeoning force that ushers should hand you a helmet to go with your 3-D glasses.

I’m a fan of most of Rodriguez’s silly, energetic kids movies (from the original “Spy Kids” 10 years ago to the underrated “Shorts”), but this time, he grinds the wacky action and the juvenile and anarchic sight gags to a halt every time he wants to deliver another homily about siblings getting along or parents spending more time with their kids. He needs to get that cookbook that shows you to hide broccoli in your children’s mac and cheese.

The film opens with extremely pregnant secret agent Marissa (Jessica Alba) chasing down the mysterious Tick Tock, a criminal who uses “time bombs” to freeze his would-be captors in their tracks while he eludes them. After she captures him — and her water breaks — Marissa leaves the spy game behind to become a full-time mom.

One year later, we see her saddled not only with a food-flinging infant but also with twin stepkids: Cecil (Mason Cook) doesn’t make waves, while his sister Rebecca (Rowan Blanchard) misses their late mother and resents Marissa’s presence in their lives. Dad Wilbur (Joel McHale) spends most of his time thinking about his “Spy Hunter” TV show, despite the fact that he’s never found one — and not knowing that he’s living with an actual veteran of global espionage.

A villain called the Time Master threatens to speed time ahead to the end of the world, so Marissa is called back into action. Through a series of complications, Cecil and Rebecca wind up on the case as well — aided by their robot dog Argonaut (voiced by Ricky Gervais, who provides most of the laughs) — and now-grown onetime Spy Kid Carmen Cortez (Alexa Vega) shows them the ropes, even though she’s still nursing a grudge against her fellow operative and little brother Juni (Daryl Sabara).

Longtime fans of the “Spy Kids” series will enjoy the many nods to past adventures, and this reboot sets us up with a new pair of pint-sized agents. (Rebecca winds up being quick on her feet once she stops being such a brat, and Cecil uses his hearing aids to his advantage, cranking up the volume until he has the ears of a safe-cracker.)

But the tone of “Spy Kids 4D: All the Time in the World” — which borrows its subtitle from the theme song to the 007 adventure “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service” — is all over the place: Alba (who seems to do her best work for Rodriguez) and Jeremy Piven (as Marissa’s boss) play the comedy very archly, with tongue firmly in cheek.

 

Don’t be too surprised this Halloween if you see lots of drag queens wearing Zoe Saldana wigs and packing plastic pistols — “Colombiana” is the kind of unintentionally hilarious misfire that spawns midnight-movie screenings and cocktail-fueled DVD parties.

Colombiana1 Review : Colombiana

Co-writer and co-producer Luc Besson tries a new spin on his tried-and-true “La Femme Nikita” formula, but the results are so clumsy and over-the-top that they should have just called the movie “Panty Assassin” and played the whole thing for laughs.

Because laughter is the only way to respond to material this ridiculous.

We first meet Saldana’s lethal Cataleya as a young girl (played by Amandla Stenberg), who sees her parents slaughtered in front of her at the command of evil drug kingpin Don Luis (Beto Benites). She escapes Colombia and comes to Chicago, where she’s taken in by her uncle Emilio (Cliff Curtis) — the vengeance-obsessed Cataleya wants to learn how to be a killer, but Emilio insists she go to school first.

Emilio makes his point in this argument, mind you, by firing several rounds into a moving car and causing it to crash. In broad daylight. In front of dozens of witnesses. But after Cataleya understands that she needs to know how the world works before she shoots everyone in it, they walk home, ignored by those same witnesses and by the cops who arrive on the scene.

This comes after the part where the young girl somehow becomes a ninja who can outrun a team of killers in the slums of Bogota. And after she gives someone in the U.S. embassy a microchip that her father gave her, loaded with screens of numbers that are never explained but are apparently very important. Of course, this is a movie where none of the filmmakers seem to understand how computers or newspapers work, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

We skip forward 15 years, and the grown-up Cataleya is a brilliant hired assassin, even though most of her kills and her escapes rely rather heavily on lucky guesses. She draws the rare cataleya orchid on her victims’ chests in the hopes of sending a message to Don Luis, and it’s only after 22 murders that the FBI starts publicizing this fact. (The feds aren’t presented as the sharpest knives in the drawer — when looking at a pool of possible killers, which includes Cataleya, Special Agent Ross (Lennie James) bellows, “We’re not looking for a woman! It isn’t possible!”)

And then there’s the Chicago precinct cop with the French accent, and the CIA agent with a British accent, and the overbearingly obvious score by Nathaniel Mechaly, and the hand-to-hand combat sequence that somehow combines jittery editing and toothbrushes as weapons.

Not to mention those fakey-looking newspapers, seemingly printed on fax paper with European punctuation marks; they would have been laughed off the set of an Ed Wood movie.

 

From the poster, you might think “Our Idiot Brother” has all the elements for a great comedy – Paul Rudd starring as a sweet, stoned doofus, opposite a cast of hilarious heavyweights like Elizabeth Banks, Emily Mortimer, Steve Coogan, Zooey Deschanel, Rashida Jones and Adam Scott.

OIB1 Review : Our Idiot Brother

But something went wrong along the way — while the film does offer its share of zingy one-liners and entertaining character moments, the final result is a movie that can’t decide if it wants to be snarkily sweet or mean and misanthropic.

Also read: ABC Pisses on Weinstein Co.’s ‘Idiot Brother’ Ad

And it’s the female characters, for the most part, that wind up being the object of the movie’s venom.

Rudd’s Ned is a holy idiot, floating through life on a cloud of naivete and pot smoke. His relatively carefree existence gets upended when he sells weed to a uniformed police officer — the movie isn’t called “Our Idiot Brother” for nothing — and when he gets out of jail, Ned’s girlfriend Janet (Kathryn Hahn) has kicked him off of the upstate New York organic farm where he’s been living with her and, even more troubling to Ned, announces that she’s keeping Ned’s beloved dog Willie Nelson.

Ned tries moving back in with his boozy mom (Shirley Knight) on Long Island, but he eventually heads to Manhattan, where he crashes with each of his sisters, with disastrous results.

While staying with supermom Liz (Mortmer), Ned helps out on a documentary directed by her husband Dylan (Coogan) and realizes that Dylan’s having an affair; while hanging out with Vanity Fair reporter Miranda (Banks), he gets an aristocratic interview subject to open up about a past scandal, but then refuses to stand by the story when the ruthlessly ambitious Miranda tries to publish it; later, he blurts out the fact that untalented comedian Natalie (Deschanel) is pregnant, despite the fact that she’s supposed to be in a monogamous relationship with lawyer Cindy (Jones, as the least convincing butch lesbian in the history of cinema).

So basically, Ned may be a twit, but the real problem is that he’s so innocent, and his big mouth gets his sisters into trouble because he’s shattering the lies that they’ve all created about themselves. (Liz should let her son take karate, and Miranda shouldn’t try to work her way up the ladder on someone else’s misery, and blah blah blah already.)

And while there’s certainly a way to spin a modern “Candide” about a rube who disrupts the life of city folks and their duplicitous ways, “Our Idiot Brother” gives us a troika of irritating female characters who need their bumpkin brother to show up to fix their lives for them.

Toss in the shrewish and nasty Janet, and you’ve got a bubbling cauldron of misogyny — in a movie that’s, incidentally, co-written by a woman.

 

Actress Vera Farmiga (“Up in the Air”) makes a heavenly debut as a director with “Higher Ground,” a compelling drama about a woman’s spiritual journey.

Farmiga has done that rare thing: make a movie about religion that is neither condescending, preachy nor satirical but rather looks at an evangelical Christian community with an open and a (mostly) nonjudgmental eye.

higher.home  350x254 Review : Higher Ground

“Higher Ground” is based on “Dark Journey: A Memoir of Salvation Found and Lost,” a 2002 autobiographical book by Carolyn S. Briggs, which chronicled her life as a born-again Christian and her eventual disillusionment and departure from a tight-knit religious community.

In “Higher Ground,” Farmiga tells the story of Corrine Walker, following her religious journey over decades. As a child, Corrine (played by McKenzie Turner), raises her hand in church to accept Jesus as her Savior. As a shy, bookish teenager (played by Taissa Farmiga, the director’s younger sister), she begins a relationship with Ethan, a would-be rocker (“The Big C’s” Boyd Holbrook), and soon finds herself pregnant by him and married.

When Corinne and Ethan’s young daughter nearly drowns, the young couple view her survival as the hand of God at work, which spurs them to join a fundamentalist community. As the years pass, the now adult Corrine (Vera Farmiga) and Ethan (Joshua Leonard) attend services and bible study, teach Sunday school and settle into a life guided and proscribed by Scripture.

higher.inside2 275x262 Review : Higher Ground

Eventually, Corrine’s marriage becomes passionless, and her own instincts to challenge assumptions and speak out are suppressed by the church’s male hierarchy. She begins to question her faith.

What makes “Higher Ground” so appealing and so effective is that it takes such an even keel approach.  All viewpoints are heard and respected; no one is mocked or made fun of.

Corrine’s disenchantment with conservative Christianity and its restrictions grows organically out of events in her life; she believably takes baby steps rather than giant ones.

The performances are uniformly good, with Farmiga and her younger sister particularly noteworthy for their naturalness and restraint. Also registering strongly are Leonard as Corrine’s frustrated husband, Dagmara Dominczyk as an ebullient best friend and Norbert Leo Butz as the amiable pastor of Corrine’s church.

As a director, Farmiga displays a delicate touch, shaping characters and scenes with care and assuming enough intelligence on the part of viewers to let her story play out in a realistic fashion.

Whether a true believer or an apostate, viewers of “Higher Ground” will have plenty to consider and talk about afterward. And hallelujah for that.

 

It’s the thing you don’t see that’s always the scariest part of a horror movie. And it’s those places you can’t see as a kid — underneath the bed, inside the closet, up in the attic — where the horrible child-eating monsters are always waiting to get you.

 Review : Dont Be Afraid of the Dark

Put those things together, and you’ve got “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark,” a goosebump-y haunted-house flick where the floorboards and the mattresses and the big old furnace in the basement really are hiding something deadly.

A remake of a fairly-effective TV movie from 1973 — the monsters were cheap, but the suspense was smartly ratcheted — the new “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark” was directed by first-timer Troy Nixey, although you’d be forgiven for thinking it’s a new movie from Guillermo del Toro, whose name gets the most prominent placement on the posters and in the advertising.

Even if del Toro didn’t yell “Action!” and “Cut!” the movie bears his imprint, from his fascination with scary stories told from a child’s point-of-view (“The Devil’s Backbone”) to the elegantly grotesque creatures (which bear more than a resemblance to the creepy-crawlies from “Pan’s Labyrinth”).

The child in question this time around is Sally (Bailee Madison), an unhappy young girl being shuttled from her unstable mother to go and live with her father Alex (Guy Pearce), who’s in the process of restoring a gorgeous old mansion with the help of his girlfriend Kim (Katie Holmes).

Kim does her best to get close to Sally, particularly since the work-obsessed Alex doesn’t pay much attention to her, but Sally resists. And while exploring one day, Sally finds a sealed-off room that Alex opens up over the warnings of Harris (Jack Thompson), the house’s longtime caretaker.

And you can pretty much imagine what happens from there — beasties get loose, Sally hears and eventually sees them, no one believes her. But Nixey (working from a script by Del Toro and Matthew Robbins) cranks up the suspense with each appearance of the creatures; as “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark” progresses, we learn more and more about just what these terrifying imps have in mind, and why we should grip our armrest when we see them make off with a pair of scissors.

Strong performances anchor the film — in movies like “Bridge to Terabithia” and “Brothers,” and even in the ludicrous “Just Go With It,” Madison has proven herself to be an expert at tween gravitas, and she nails Sally’s fear and hopelessness throughout.

Even Holmes gets the pitch of the film just right, juggling her initial skepticism about monsters in the house with having stepmom duties suddenly thrown at her. If Pearce registers less than his two co-stars, it’s because the character he’s playing is so inert that he can’t avoid slipping into the background.

If there’s one big flaw with “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark,” it’s that in 2011, there’s only so long that we can watch movie characters face the perils of a haunted house without thinking, “GET OUT ALREADY!”

Long after it should be thoroughly obvious to even the most hardened skeptic that something very unnatural is going on in that old mansion, Alex insists that they stick around, and there aren’t enough plot demands to make his stubbornness ring true.

 

While many will probably refer to “Circumstance” in shorthand as “the Iranian lesbian movie,” part of what makes the film so powerful is its portrayal of modern-day Iran as a country so oppressive that you don’t even have to be a lesbian to suffer there.

Sure, it’s a lousy place to be a woman who loves women, but it’s also not so great if you’re an intellectual or a feminist or even just a fan of hip-hop.

Circ1 Review : Circumstance

Writer-director Maryam Keshavarz’s debut feature contains echoes of “The Lives of Others” and “My Son, the Fanatic,” but it stands on its own in its portrayal of everyday people trying to make the best of their circumstances in a restrictive society.

Atafeh (Nikohl Boosheri) and Shireen (Sarah Kazemy) are best friends — wealthy Ati lives in privilege (her father is a noted musician and her mother a Berkeley-educated surgeon), while Shireen has been raised by her grandfather after her parents, both academics, were killed by the government.

They can’t leave the house without headscarves, or drive a car, or even swim in the ocean publicly, but like teenage girls everywhere, they’ve figured out a way to misbehave — the pair take us on a tour of underground Teheran, where afternoon discotheques (complete with drugs) flourish in apartments and barbershops hide secret stores full of contraband CDs and DVDs.

(A visiting American-born Iranian wants to dub “Milk” into Farsi as a tool of revolution; his friend agrees only on the condition that they bootleg it on the same disc as a dubbed “Sex and the City” movie.)

Ati and Shireen’s lives of down-low recklessness become imperiled by the return of Ati’s brother Mehran (Reza Sixo Safai) — a failed musician–turned–addict, he trades one drug for another, namely religious fanaticism. Mehran joins the Morality Police, a volunteer group of thugs who enforce the nation’s draconian cultural laws, and he soon begins spying on his family. (Even more frightening, we see how Mehran and Ati’s progressive parents slowly fall under the sway of their son’s religious zeal.)

During all this, Ati and Shireen discover that they love each other, and they make big plans about running away to Dubai to live openly. (Not that Dubai is all that far ahead of Iran when it comes to issues of homosexuality, but that’s another story.) The privileged Ati can bribe her way out of the country, the film suggests, but things may not be so easy for Shireen.

Shot undercover in Beirut, “Circumstance” allows a glimpse into the iconoclastic and dissatisfied youth who have played such a huge role in this year’s “Arab Spring” and in the current uprisings in Libya and Syria.

And it’s the kind of movie to show to your parents or anyone else who gets swayed by a presidential candidate who says that he (or she) wants to run the United States based on “Biblical principles.”

 

“I hate you. I hate the way you look, I hate the way you talk, I hate everything about you,” says Pinkie Brown to his betrothed on their wedding day. She can’t hear him, as he’s in a sound booth recording his words while she blithely smiles at him through the glass.

Oh, to be young and in love.

BR1 Review : Brighton Rock

This scene neatly sums upRowan Joffe’s smart and stylish film noir, “Brighton Rock,” based on Graham Greene’s 1938 novel chronicling the rise and fall of a small-time thug.

Joffe and company have updated the action from the 1930s to 1964, as Pinkie (the exquisiteSam Riley) becomes the head of his own gang at the tender age of 17. A cold-blooded sociopath, he has no trouble winning the respect of his men, even though he’s the youngest among them.

When waitress Rose (Andrea Riseborough) becomes a witness in a murder case, Pinkie marries the girl, knowing that a wife cannot be compelled to testify against her husband. Sheltered and suffering at the abusive hand of her widowed father, Rose wants a new life and sees Pinkie as her way out.

While she convinces herself that Pinkie’s love is real, he’s planning a double suicide — ladies first, naturally.

Richard Attenborough played Pinkie in the original 1947 film, and it’s easy to see how the new adaptation draws on British noir of the ’40s and ’50s, particularly “Night and the City” and “The Third Man,” both also based on Greene’s writing.

In typical noir fashion, Joffe and cinematographer John Mathieson favor low angles and minimal camera movement, framing characters in doorways, mirrors and windows, boxing them into drab and dingy compositions. The beaches and open skies surrounding the faded festivity of Palace Pier are awash in gray, the ocean green and murky.

Where Greene’s novel is concerned with Roman Catholic issues of sin and morality, Joffe’s screenplay mainly focuses on the more earthly motivations of power and love. Nearly everything Pinkie does identifies him as a psychopath without conscience — so why doesn’t he simply do away with Rose? Why bother going through the trouble of convincing her that double-suicide is the best way forward?

Perhaps the answers lie in the issues of sin and morality Joffe chose to downplay.

Riley has his work cut out for him playing Pinkie, a teenaged boss of men with a menacing baby-face. Add to that challenge the fact that he must also play an actor, as Pinkie pretends to care for Rose while secretly seething at his predicament. Riley nails the role’s many demands, owning Pinkie and providing a solid anchor to the film.

Riseborough played supporting parts in “Happy-Go-Lucky” and “Made in Dagenham,” but here she takes center stage as the ill-fated Rose. She believes Pinkie loves her despite evidence to the contrary simply because she needs to, for her own emotional well being.

 

No punches are pulled in mixed martial arts fights — they’re raw, they’re violent, and they look really painful, which makes the sport as appropriate a metaphor as any for “Warrior,” a tale of two MMA fighters that’s really about the hard blows delivered by screwed-up family dynamics.

warrior1 Review : Warrior

As opposed to most movies about drunk dads and the damaged kids who survived them, “Warrior” goes much heavier on the regret and recrimination than it does on the forgiveness and the closure.

Also see: ’Warrior’ Trailer: Tom Hardy Gets Punchy (Video)

Don’t be surprised to find yourself flinching more at the family arguments than at the wham-bam head-smashing.

Nick Nolte, digging fearlessly into his own personal demons, plays Paddy Conlon, a boozy veteran who spent much of his fatherhood years training his son Tommy to be a world-class fighter.

When Mrs. Conlon got fed up with Paddy’s abuse, she left with Tommy, but her older son, Brendan, stuck around, wanting to stay close to his girlfriend and incorrectly assuming that Paddy would finally start paying attention to him.

That’s the backstory in play when grown-up Tommy (Tom Hardy) returns from combat in Iraq. At first, he wants absolutely nothing to do with Paddy, but when Tommy climbs into the ring and flattens one of the top national MMA contenders, he hires Paddy to be his trainer — and nothing more.

Meanwhile, Brendan (Joel Edgerton) has put his own pugilistic past behind him, and now he’s a physics teacher who’s married to his high-school sweetheart (Jennifer Morrison) and the father of two young daughters. But when the bank comes calling and threatens to take away his house, he finds himself climbing back into the ring, fighting in strip-joint parking lots for a few bucks.


When a billionaire decides to hold a winner-take-all MMA tournament in Atlantic City with a $5 million purse, both brothers decide they want to go for it. (Tommy wants to give the money to the widow of his war buddy.)

The brothers unite at the Jersey shore, but Tommy still resents Brendan for not coming with him to take care of their mother, and Brendan still resents Paddy for his past bad behavior, which all the 1,000-day-sober AA chips in the world won’t heal. (“The only thing [Brendan and I] have in common,” Tommy tells Paddy, “is that we have no use for you.”)

Director Gavin O’Connor has established himself as a skillful crafter of both uplifting sports movies (“Miracle”) and stories of complicated family dynamics (“Tumbleweeds”), and he gets to flex both muscles here. I can’t attest to the realism of the fight sequences, but cinematically, they’re stirring and taut and empathetic and everything else that they’re supposed to be.

And while O’Connor and co-screenwriters Anthony Tambakis and Cliff Dorfman aren’t above tugging our heartstrings with character reversals — Brendan’s wife tells him she refuses to go watch him fight, so you just know she’s eventually going to turn up ringside in Atlantic City — they wisely avoid any easy resolutions for Paddy, particularly after he falls off the wagon.

 

Edinburgh’s most notorious serial killers, William Burke and William Hare were a pair of Irish immigrants who terrorized the Scottish capitol in the 1820’s. Together they murdered 17 and sold the corpses to medical lecturer Dr. Robert Knox for his research.

BH1 Review : Burke and Hare

And if you think this duo is a lousy basis for a good comedy, the laugh-free “Burke and Hare” from director John Landis will prove you right.

The two Williams, Burke (Simon Pegg) and Hare (Andy Serkis), stumble upon a way to make a fast buck during hard times: When a guest dies in his sleep at an inn run by Hare’s wife (an acidic and lusty Jessica Hynes), they sell the corpse to Dr. Knox (Tom Wilkinson), a lecturer at the renowned Edinburgh Medical College. The good doctor requires two bodies a week, and Burke and Hare soon find themselves flush with cash.

Burke is smitten by “actress” Ginny Hawkins (Isla Fisher), promising he’ll back her all-female production of “Macbeth” while trying desperately to get to first base with her. Meanwhile, nosy Captain Tam McLintoch (Ronnie Corbett) sees a career-making chance in solving the murders, and Burke and Hare’s sloppy methods make his job all too easy.

Landis elicits fine performances from a superb cast starting with his two leads: Simon Pegg, often a convincing and amiable everyman, and Andy Serkis, an extraordinary character actor barely recognizable here without his ape fur.

Pegg’s Burke is lovelorn and conscious-stricken by their murderous escapades while Serkis’ Hare leads a life of lust and excess, worrying little about mortal sin. The pair enjoy fine chemistry but struggle with lame jokes and wafer-thin material courtesy of writers Piers Ashworth and Nick Moorcroft.

Sweet, sexy and charming, Fisher plays the working girl working her way into Burke’s arms. She stole scenes from comic heavyweights as the psycho girlfriend in “Wedding Crashers,” and ably anchored the unfortunate “Confessions of a Shopaholic,” demonstrating she’s more than just a pretty face. Here, Fisher slyly infuses her character with an inner life that isn’t necessarily on the page.

Wilkinson expertly fills an undemanding role as the cold, professorial Dr. Knox, while Tim Curry, as his rival, complements him with an arch and cartoonish performance. Other cameos include Christopher Lee and British comedy icons Paul Whitehouse, Steven Merchant and Michael Winner.

“Burke and Hare” is a sumptuous production boasting big-name actors by the legendary director of comedy classics like “Animal House” and “The Blues Brothers.” So why is it so damn awful? Jokes include the pair optimistically looking up and admiring the sky when struck in the face by a bucket of waste from above.

In another scene a bouncer tosses a guy out of a bar, shouting, “Watch your f—ing language, you goddamn son of a bitch!” Hi-larious! Right?

Although he’s only 61, Landis demonstrates a comedic sensibility so creaky it harkens back to his first big break in 1977, “Kentucky Fried Movie,” an outrageous film in its time — but have you seen it lately? Watching “Burke and Hare” is like listening to your grandfather tell the same joke for the 14th time.

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